Sofia
In that cold and windy night, mountains and plains were covered by snow, barren hillside were buried in snow and making it desolate and colder. The sickly mountain said to the piercing snowballs that continuously pressured on him, “Why are you not helping me? What can I do to be saved?”
Poor Family
On that night, I was born inside a poor and small village at the foot of Qilian Mountain. It seems that my fate has been destined from the night I was born. Is this certainly the will of Allah?
Among our six brothers and sisters, my little brother received the most education; however that was only up to Primary 5. One reason is that our family is poor. We often ran out of food and my mum always had to return to her own family with humility to ask for some coarse grains to barely fill our growling stomachs. Another reason is that our parents did have the awareness to educate their children. So, my two sisters and I did not even have the chance to enter the school gate; thus, being deprived of all chances to pursue knowledge. Is this fair for a poor girl from the mountain? My name is Li Ying, 30 year-old, illiterate.
Hell on earth…
My tragedy seems to be inseparable from poverty and ignorance. Before 20-year-old, I could remember only about work, nothing else but work, there were no toys, no presents, no new clothes and no one loving me. There was a great turning point in my life at the age of 20, and it was this turning point that put me into the 18th level of hell. I was married! My husband’s family was a famous rogue family of the neighborhood. In order to get my brother a wife, my parents traded me to this notorious family. My husband always wore a white hat, with a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and could not be separated from two things in his life: drinking and gambling, these were his work. There was another part of his life; that was listening to his mother’s order — to beat me. My father-in-law passed away when my mother-in-law was 30 year-old. She worked hard to bring up 5 sons and 2 daughters. In her, she has an extremely distorted theory: her son can never love his wife. She wants her son to belong to her wholly; her son can only love her. If she were to see her son treat his wife well, she would scold and called him unfilial. She would then want her son to beat me fiercely to vent her anger. Initially, my husband used only his hand to beat me and his leg to kick me; eventually, they could not limit only to such violence, and they started to beat me often with broom, shovel or anything they could readily get. There were a few times I was beaten until I was unconscious and woke up only after a long period of time. My mother-in-law wanted me to work in the field three days after I gave birth and I thought this was very heavy for me to bear. Even more intolerable was that my husband was free to chase me away, and openly brought another woman back to the house and both of them would beat me and scold me together. My two children were the pitiful ones; the first thing they had to do when they got home was to greet their father ‘Salaam’ and they would quickly hid themselves at a corner to do their homework. They were very happy when my husband was not at home; because my husband would beat the children ruthlessly. Sometimes, my children could not attend school for a few days because they were beaten badly. My mother-in-law never tried to mediate. ①Due to religious and traditional reasons, the Imam said that you can beat your wives; they are just like your land and your clothes. Therefore, beating us to my mother-in-law and husband was to show off as an example to others. I lament for those Muslim women who have the same background as me; I lament for those self-righteous Muslim men and Imams who tamper with the teaching of the <Quran>. What is the Islamic restriction on human? How many women like us have been affected by Nabi Muhammad SAW? This has brought us so many disasters and sufferings. Why did he beat me? Oh Lord, who can save me?
There are still many women like me in the Northwest. My cousin also suffered the same humiliation and abuse. One day, her husband brought home a woman and chased her away from her house, leaving behind a 13-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son, completely ignored the more than 10 years marital relationship. Our destinies are harmed, majority of our marriages were decided by our parents, and we did not have a means to fight back. It was natural for our husbands and mother-in-laws to scold and beat us. We had to serve them well every day; not only without getting any compliment from them; instead, the meal on the table would be splashed on our head if there was dissatisfaction. There were so many times we were beaten black and blue, some became handicapped.
Temporary escape from fire pit
They treated us like the cows and goats of Korban; we were being pushed around and were led to be slaughtered. Eventually, we who were left with nothing would be abandoned. My cousin and I divorced on April, 2010. My cousin came to pick me up on the day of my divorce. When she saw the fierce-looking eyes and the face of ferocious curse of my mother-in-law as she bent over her body and pointed her finger on my forehead, my cousin took a deep sigh and said, “My sister, we finally escape from this fire pit!”
On the icy ground is the lonely helpless forlorn loss,
The piercing dark cold night is hitting my chest,
Longing for a bunch of tiny glimmer,
Crying, “Where is my light?”
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①: English Translation of Al-Quran by Abdullah Yusuf Ali
Surah 2: 223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.
Surah 2: 187 Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek what Allah Hath ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast Till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah: Approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they may learn self-restraint.